


Thank You n Goodbye, for now

by 50_Shades_of_Hydra



Series: Save Me x I'm Fine [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brock Rumlow needs a hug too, Drinking, Heartbreak, M/M, winterbones - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-14 22:46:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50_Shades_of_Hydra/pseuds/50_Shades_of_Hydra
Summary: Inspired by Taeyang's song, Wedding Dress. But, I'm gonna imply this song with Winterbones and change a lil bit.Brock supposed to have Bucky, but Steve........





	Thank You n Goodbye, for now

**Author's Note:**

> Apologize for my English, grammar and punctuation. Any mistakes are from me since I wrote this on my phone.

_If only I make a first move to him....._

 

Brock is at the bar, drinking to only-god-knows when. The place where that was the last time his heart still intact. He just couldn't get over the fact that he already lost someone to another person, who had known each other for a long time. He held a tiny thing that could possibly determine his future.

 

_If only............._

 

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_**Four years ago....** _

 

The park is so quiet, with less people roaming around, joggers and food stalls. Laughter can be heard under the oak tree. Two individuals sitting on the mini-van, broswing through the phone.

 

Brock, in his black shirt, leather jacket and black jean, and Bucky, in his maroon shirt, denim jacket and navy blue track trousers smiling at the photos Brock showed on his phone during his visit to Italy.

 

"Shoulda bring you when we have a chance," said Bucky, his shoulder-length hair brushed Brock's cheekbones. The eyes were gleaming with hope, made Brock wooed for a second. 

 

"Maybe some other time," Brock's heart glee.

 

Then, "Can I bring Steve too? He just cannot be left alone from me." Bucky rolled his eyes to sideways. 

 

 _Why Steve? Why have to be him? Let's just be two of us_ , thought Brock. He always envied of him. Why? He's not sure about that. 

 

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While staring at the 1/3 of his whiskey  Brock's mind drifted to the time he had complete crush on Bucky. On the minivan. Then, there was this guy............ 

 

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"Did someone say my name and disturb my slumber?"

 

The voice of the man, the 'crush-wrecker', Steve. Peeking out from the window of the passenger seat. 

 

He climbed out from the mini-van and to the top of it, joining the two. He wore grey short-sleeved shirt and blue jeans. He sat besides Bucky and put his hand on his waist. Bucky just giggled by the touch. 

 

Brock was so deepdown feeling jealousy and all. But he managed to mask it with smiles. 

 

The rest of the time was filled with them talked about their holiday and the fun experiences, especially from Steve's. Brock just listen to him, but his mind adrift..............

 

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Yes, the crush-wrecker, who thinks he's good enough. Yes, that's the reason why. And that, he went back to reality. He signalled the bartender to pour the whiskey in his glass. The guy leaves after no response from Brock, who still in his mind wandering into somewhere.

 

He turned around, waiting and hoping. But what is it? What does he waiting for? What does he hoping for? He knew there's nothing for him now. 

 

Then, he saw a couple of man and woman sitting far beside him. Having a chit-chat. 

 

Another sequence of flashbacks.............

 

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_**Two years ago....** _

 

Dinner at the luxurious restaurant _...._

 

Brock, Bucky and Steve sat on one table, eating various French cuisine. It was supposed to be only Brock and Bucky, but since Bucky insisted to bring Steve because that guy just so attached to him like a glue, so he had no choice but to add another extra reservation.

 

Luckily, the cashier was okay with it. Brock wore the casual suit and a tie. Both of Bucky and Steve were in sweater because they had no idea where he took them. The dinner was on him. Maybe half of it since Steve was so eager to pay for another half. 

 

 _Good on you,_ thought Brock. Come on, if it's only both of them, then he wouldn't mind paying the bill. 

 

Brock sat in front of Steve and Bucky, who were sitting side by side. Feeding with each other sometimes. What about Brock? He need some love too......

 

 _That motherfucker_. 

 

He just watched the scene with annoyance and jealous at the same time.

 

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His fist curled into knuckle on the bar. As if he's ready to hit someone. The fist that would actually break the glass bar if apply enough force. He was such a fool. A fool bastard. 

 

Another customer came in and went to the bar for a drink. Brock turned around and saw this guy had one of his earpiece dangling at his ear.

 

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**_Somewhere few months ago......_ **

 

Both of them sat on sofa, listen to music of their choices, wearing their casual house attire. Brock and Bucky had a same taste of music. Bucky would be in charge of changing the songs and looked up for the lyrics. He even leaned on Brock because he was just a soft bear.

 

From a moment to moment, they did achieved some light touching and holding hands. At least for Brock, that would be enough for him to feel some part of Bucky. The feeling..........

 

Only Brock knows. The heart fluttering and smiling inside. He wished that this moment last longer, but.......

 

Yup, the dream-crusher, new nickname for Steve. Just got back from his workout in the gym room, all sweaty under that UnderArmour light blue shirt and black sweatpants, went to them and pulled the earpiece attached to Bucky. 

 

"Hey! Can you just take a shower please?" Bucky exclaimed, pinching his nose. 

 

 _Damn! Put deodorant before workout at least,_ Brock commented in his mind, supporting Bucky's statement while unplugging his earpiece. 

 

"I will if you joined me," said Steve. 

 

_Pfffttt, gross!_

 

Then, Steve went out and jogged for infinite kilometre. Brock wouldn't want to know. Like he cares so much. Bucky plugged the earpiece back in and continued with the song. 

 

"I think we just skipped a song or two," Bucky smiled. 

 

"Nah, it's okay," Brock reassured, plugging his. 

 

_._

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_._

 

Brock smiled into nothing alone. People would think he's crazy. So what? All drunk people act the same way whenever they're in dire situation. 

 

Then, he heard a faint sound of piano playing from the speaker attached at the corner of the ceiling. Looks like he's having another episode of flashback.......

 

Brock took one gulp of the drink and put the glass down.

 

"More." That's the only thing that he can say, the only thing he can do to ease away whatever pain inside him. He brought his hand on his head. The other customers would look at this guy as depressed and distressed, because that's what he is right now.........

 

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 ** _Another few months ago_**.....

 

All three of them were in Brock's house. Steve watched a movie on his laptop while Bucky and Brock were at the grand piano. 

 

They played a few notes. They even tried to combined notes to see if the tune was sync and beautiful. 

 

Brock watched Bucky's face playing with the keys with passion and wonder. _He's so beautiful_. Brock's mind wandered into the beauty of the man, that had been nested inside him. Until,..........

 

A pair of hands covering Bucky's eyes from looking at the keys. _Such a mood killer._  

 

"I just caught Brock looking at you, Bucky." Steve told him. _Do you have to?_

 

Brock shook his head to release himself from Steve and averted his eyes on the key in embarrassment. _Shit.._..

 

"See? I am very special. And limited edition." Bucky laughed on that statement. _Yes, just the way you are._ Brock agreed with it. 

 

Then, he got up and cleared his throat. "Alright, enough with the playing. Who wants some snacks?"

 

"Me!!!" Both of them shouted.

 

All of them went to kitchen to prepare something.

 

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Then, came to the part where shit went down to the pit.

 

He still feel the ache in his heart whenever this haunted image came by into his mind. _Why? If only I've done it sooner............_

 

There goes another shot of a drink. "Excuse me?" Pointed to his empty glass at the bartender.

 

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_**Three months ago....** _

 

Brock saw Bucky in the local bar, talking with redhead lady, presumely his friend from work. Then, he went to him and took his hand to somewhere quiet along the bar corridor. 

 

"Bucky, there's something I wanna tell ya'," said Brock, while rummaging through his pocket to find something. 

 

"Okay." Bucky rubbed his wrist that had been pulled by Brock. Such a tough guy, that Brock.... 

 

_Where is it? Why do you have to cause such problem during this time? Not you, Bucky. This........._

 

Then, the guy that not supposed to be here came out of nowhere.

 

"Bucky, where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere," Steve held Bucky's shoulder and turned his head to look at Brock. 

 

"Hey Brock, what are you doing here? Having fun, eh?"

 

"Yeah."

 

That's the only answer he can give. 

 

Then, Steve took out something out from his jacket. It's a red box. And you knew what inside....... 

 

A ring. Two rings to be exact.

 

He took out one and held Bucky's hand. Brock could tell on his face, he's nervous. _What? Is his the first one?_  

 

Steve, with all smiley and glee, looked up to Brock. 

 

"Brock, I want you to be my witness in this."

 

He nodded. _Okay, whatever you want._

 

Steve then looked back to Bucky and focused his gaze at his eyes. 

 

"Bucky?"

 

"Yes?" Bucky answered. 

 

"We had known each other for a long time, and we had through all thick and thin together. So, I'm going to tell you how I feel for you." Steve let out his confession towards Bucky, who still standing like a statue and confused.

 

"I really like you from the beginning because you're kind and sweet. And I adore you. And......... I love you." And by that, Bucky's eyes went wide and frozen. 

 

Then, Steve kneeled down. _Boy, here we go_....

 

"James Buchanan Barnes...."

 

 _No, please don't say it. Please, don't you ever say it. Steve, get out from here._ Brock became restless on his feet. 

 

".... Will you be a part of my life forever?"

 

And by that, Brock can hear his heart shattered inside.

 

Bucky opened his mouth to answer but he went jittery and mumbly. 

 

"....... Yes." 

 

"What?" Steve couldn't believe what he's hearing. 

 

Bucky, with confidence and joy, "Yes!!"

 

Steve stood up and hugged him. _Great_.

 

After few moments, they broke the hug and Bucky blurted out his feelings.

 

"I do have feelings for you too. But, I didn't know how to confess it to you. I'm glad we are in the same page. 

 

Both of them went holding each other's hands in front of Brock.

 

 _How could you do that to me? IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME!_ Brock thought to himself. His expression went empty. But,he wouldn't let it obvious. 

 

He just stood there, trying to process whatever the hell was going on.

 

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Brock took out the ring from his pocket that he was supposed to give to Bucky back then. He held it in front of him.

 

_Why, Bucky... Why don't you give me a chance? You should be mine, not him._

 

But, they're more known with each other for a long time. Even that, there's nothing Brock can do about it. 

 

Then, his mind reminiscing from this morning where the joint between two bestfriends into one knot of love commenced.

 

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 ** _In the morning_**...

 

He woke up early to get dressed and ready to go to the church. He looked up at the mirror in front of him and took a good look. Must be presentable. He's wearing white long-sleeved buttoned shirt, black vest and black trousers.

 

Bucky been begging Brock to become the pianist few days before the wedding. He said that no one can play better than him.

 

 _That's a compliment, Brock. Do your best_. He thought himself.

 

 _Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong._ That mantra would work.

 

He drove from his home, not far, to the church. He then parked his car somewhere near the place and stopped the engine. 

 

He took a deep breath, concentrate on the notes and be happy for Bucky, at least... Then, he grabbed his sling bag and climbed out from his car. Locked the door and he walked straight to the church. 

 

He greeted one of the patrons, and went to the groom's room.

 

He found Steve getting ready with his suit, smiled back at him.

 

"Hey Buddy! Glad you came!" 

 

"Oh hi. Happy to see you too Steve." Brock greeted back.

 

Both of them hugged with each other. When they're done, they let go and patted at each other's back. 

 

"Ready for the big day?" Brock joked Steve.

 

Steve nervously chuckled, "Well, I'm gonna get married, man. Can't believe the day has come."

 

Brock patted his shoulders. "Relax. You can do it." Lies, he wanted Steve to have second thoughts. 

 

"Okay, I think I better outta here. Getting you prepare for the day," Brock took his leave. 

 

Steve looked at his friend in the eye with gratitude. "Thank you." He smiled at him.

 

Brock went out from the room, trying to find Bucky's. And.........

 

"There you are." Brock greeted from the opened door. 

 

Bucky surprised and went on to hug him.

 

"I am so happy that you came! I thought you wouldn't..." Bucky made his sad puppy eyes at Brock.

 

He laughed. "Why would I? For my dear friend, I would do anything."

 

Out of nowhere, his hand went to touch at Bucky's sideface and he didn't know why. Maybe he longed for him. And he missed him.

 

Ever since Bucky and Steve were so busy on preparing the wedding, they rarely hang out. Brock on the other hand, practicing wedding songs with his piano. 

 

Brock noticed a glassy tear coming out from Bucky's eyes and wiped it away. He surely looked nervous and scared at the same time. Brock just could sense it. 

 

"It's okay, Bucky. Today's gonna be perfect and you don't have to worry about it, okay? Stop crying," Brock hugged Bucky and soothed him. 

 

Bucky wiped his eyes with the tissue placed nearby the table. "Okay." Sniffs.

 

"Look, I gotta go. Gotta prepare my sheets and everything. Take care of yourself, Bucky. See you soon." Brock went on to pat at the side of Bucky's arm and leave him preparing for the wedding, reluctantly.

 

_What have I done?_

 

Brock went on to the grand piano at the sides of aisle and put his music sheets on the stand. He began to play some of songs to fill up the silence in the church hall. 

 

The ceremony had begun. With the prayers and singing. Few moments, Steve walked down to the aisle and stood infront of the priest. 

 

Cue to play the most ceremonial wedding song, Bucky stood in front of the door and began to walk down to the aisle to join Steve and the priest. Brock could only sat down and watched the whole thing in a distance.

 

The sermon had begun. Then, to the exchange of vows. Both of them says their vow with "I do" with love and passion, supposedly. 

 

Brock's heart was really smashed, ripped and crumbled into pieces when he saw both of them kissed and turned to the people in the hall. 

 

_Well, I have one job. Just the one....._

 

Bucky noticed Brock and signalled him to play the most favourite wedding song he chose when he came to his house.

 

Any heart would broke if he or she saw the love of the life went on with someone else, but he had to. He gave his all to the song he played on the piano and concealed his feeling. 

 

Brock saw Bucky was smiling shyly when the song came out but not Steve. He looked like confused and wondering what's going on. As if he doesn't like this music piece. But like Brock cared......

 

While the song is about to finish, they walked from the aisle to the hall door and received congratulary greetings by their family, relatives and friends. 

 

Brock could only walked at the door of the church hall and watched the sight of his Bucky as if it's the last time he ever saw him. He and Steve thanked them and smiled with their guest. 

 

Whilst Brock, deep down in his heart, he couldn't take and about to cry out. But, he masked it with zero expression while walked down to the altar, where he looked down and reminiscing the moment he had with Bucky. All of the guests and people were already at the outside. It was only him in the church hall.  

 

After a few moments of standing in front of the altar, he felt a pair of hands wrapped around his waist and hugged him from behind.

 

"Hey Brock. Are you okay?" A voice asked him if he's alright. 

 

Brock quickly recognized the voice owner. It was Bucky. But wait, what's he doing here...

 

"Bucky, what are you doing here? I thought you were with Steve." Brock made no attempt to turn around. 

 

He can hear Bucky giggled a bit. "I excused myself to go to the toilet, just to see you." The hug tighten and Brock could feel him happy that he could see each other again. 

 

"I noticed you looked sad or something. Is there anything wrong?" Bucky's statement made Brock petrified but at the same time, he was torned between confessing and burying the feeling down to his gut. And he decided to..........

 

Brock turned around to release himself from Bucky's hug. Then, he tooked both of his hand. _Have balls, man. Be a tough man._

 

"Bucky, I have been longing to say this. Before this, I couldn't tell you how much I cared for you and how much I adored you from the beginning we met. But, I just can't and Steve had been long ahead before me." Brock said this slowly and with feelings of regret. 

 

"I was suppose to propose you that night but I forgot which pocket I had stored it. Then, Steve came. Do you remember?" Brock let it out. Bucky nodded. "Yes."

 

Brock inhaled his breath. _Here comes for nothing._ "The ring.....is for you." He huffed. Bucky's eyes wide opened, as if trying to process the information. 

 

 _That's it. He's gonna hate me. He's gonna leave me. He's gonna push me away. He will never ever see me the same way again._ Brock's mind is in warzone now. 

 

Bucky smiled. His eyes were actually quite calm and in acceptance. "You know what? I had the same feeling too. I remember you tended my wound when I was fall down from the bike." 

 

Brock's in confusion. He must be hearing wrong or it's all his illusion. But, he's on Earth now, standing on the real concrete, or in this case, wooden floor. 

 

"What do you mean by that?" Brock couldn't help but asked that question. He needs to make sure of it.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes. "What I mean is I like you, Brock. I really do. But, I just don't know how to say it. That night, I was about to confess it to you, given that it was the perfect time. But Steve came and proposed me, so I had to accept it because we had been together for a long time as friends. And it happened so fast." His gaze fixed on Brock's. "But, to be honest, I was really expecting you to propose me the day you pulled me." 

 

He smiled so gleamingly at Brock, made him felt like he's in heaven. Bucky's hand snaked his way to tighten Brock's hold and closed the distance between them. 

 

"I will always love you. Be safe even though we are far away from each other. And if there's anything, call me and I'll be there for you." Brock vowed to himself, in front of their God. 

 

"I will." Bucky uttered, to seal the vow. 

 

Both of them leaned forward to each other and kissed for the first time. _God, his lips are so tender._ Brock indulged the passion. The kiss was so chaste and smooth. 

 

Brock wished that they can stayed like this forever. But Steve.... What about Steve? What was Bucky even thinking when they do this, secretly? What their family will think if they found them here? 

 

Brock broke the kiss and looked at Bucky's eyes. "I think you should go back to them. They might looking for you." Can't risk that one. 

 

Bucky just nodded. He tipped toe and kisses him on the cheek. "Goodbye, Brock. We will see each other again someday. Or maybe, we can be together next time or in another life." Bucky said this in confidence, and a bit of sadness there. Why is he sad? He should be happy, well today is wedding day. 

 

Bucky turned around and walked to the door, away from Brock. At some point, Bucky would turned back to him, to see he is still there to watch him walk away from him. And it was heart wrenching. Why? He don't even know why. Maybe because he loved Brock more than Steve. Yes, he is actually better than Steve. But, in the end, why he chooses Steve over Brock? 

 

As for Brock, he can only pray that one day, Bucky will return to him, giving all the love he can provide. Prove to him that he is better than Steve. But, it was all just a fantasy. 

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Brock took a good final look at the ring before he put it on the bar, paid the bill and took off from the seat, a seat where it was Bucky's favourite whenever they hang out here. 

 

The ring just stayed there..... Prove of broken heart.....

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**thank u, next**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic. Regarding the month length thingy, i just have no idea... It's up to you to interpret...
> 
> Fanarts are welcome...


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